Today, I’d like to share a quote. It’s a quote by Patton, General Patton, from years ago, and it says, “If a man takes it upon himself God’s right to punish, then a man must also take upon himself God’s promise to restore.” I know April is Second Chance Month. I don’t know how many people out there know that or how many are living their lives trying to get a second chance, or how many like me, who are incarcerated, think it’s only us that need one. I know there are people everywhere that are praying for a do-over in life, if you put it that way.
There are many avenues out there to restart your life steps, but sometimes in here, I feel like I’m helpless in here, at times. I’ve taken steps for over 40 years to reboot, rehabilitate, redeem, restore my life for a second chance. Of course, we know there’s a lot of words that start with ‘re,’ but restore stands out in that quote that I shared earlier, and that’s one I’d like to talk about today because, to me, that means to repair, to reestablish, to reinstate, to rebuild, to restructure, to recreate, to reform. And I feel like I’ve worked hard to do these things mentally mostly, spiritually.
A lot of things I did were educational steps so I could improve my intellect and my decision making by gaining a lot of knowledge, but I think I obtained most of my restoration so my mind and my heart and my soul could be on a redeemed path, so I could help others; the ones that especially get their second chances and leave here. I like to help them be on a better path and to do better and be better for other people once they’re back in their families and their communities.
It’s never seemed like what I’ve done here has been enough, and I know I can’t give myself a second chance to be with my family right now. I can’t atone for the loss that was caused by my mistakes that I made when I was 21. For years I was at the mercy of a Kentucky parole board, and I spent those years doing all I could do to earn that privilege of parole — 100 plus program, seven degrees, one disciplinary in decades, volunteering, preaching — nothing seemed to matter to them. Their decisions sometimes seemed to reward people that didn’t do these things and people they gave second chances to have recommitted, returned and reharmed society. even. I don’t mean to share this out of envy or any kind of disrespect, but I say it because I want people out there, and the ones that do have a second chance that are incarcerated, to take it take it serious and don’t take it for granted.
My second chance seemed to rest in the hands of politically appointed people on a parole board. But then there’s other people that try to give me hope in Kentucky because I’ve read a 14-page opinion by the Supreme Court Justice. Her name is Justice Michelle Keller, and she talks about serve outs of life sentences because there’s a lot of gravity and interest placed on the state when you do this. The parole board seems to be given the power that is inconsistent with the Kentucky constitution she even says. My serve out is not really just death by incarceration for me, which I wasn’t sentenced to in the first place, but you have to think about it this way, that it’s also a life-altering decision for my family, my friends, and my community, because they’re often telling they need restorative lives out there to pay it forward and help our young people.
Seems that many parole boards across our great nation are giving themselves a blank check to deny release based on one factor, and that’s the seriousness of the crime, and they also seem to use it only when they want to, not in every case. I now have the same sentence — death by incarceration — as mass murderers, serial killers, other people. And I never try to negate my part, yet I advocate that this is cruel for those of us who didn’t commit the crime, and most states are finding that and making resentencing laws that if you didn’t commit the crime you’re not eligible for that type of sentence. I’m just asking many states to recognize; I’m asking governors to recognize; I’m not asking for a pardon. Not many of us do. Yet, Governor Beshear of Kentucky, he has the pen to commute my sentence, and I hope that one day he will.
These commentaries are recorded by in Prison Radio.
