“What is happening out there?” That’s one of my favorite lines from the movie Day After Tomorrow. But political chaos, deceit being spread, slander over truth – we see it on the news, TV shows, and we’re in prison. From here, after 40 years of rehabilitation, I try to stand for what’s right. Oh, it seems like others are spreading hate. Yeah, it’s rough in here at times, but we’re trying to heal and heal death by incarceration through advocacy, hope, and humanity. Our Kentucky governor the other day said, “We win by lifting others up and by showing love and accepting every day.” Then I get to wondering, does he mean for those of us incarcerated? ‘Cause again, after 40 years of doing the right thing, I’m still waiting to be lifted up and lifted out.
Our state has declared June Pride Month. Made me think about being called a lesbian approximately 250 times in my trial. Was it to influence the jury or the media? Was I on trial for that? You know, it was still a crime in Kentucky in 1986. So, you know, I don’t know, but my time and my character have spoken for themselves for the past 40 plus years. A friend sent me a quote that reads, “Nobody talks about the emotional mileage that prison puts on people waiting outside.” Our families and our friends and community have been waiting decades for us. I’ve honored them and the loss of life by choosing character over convenience and honesty over deceit. These are really not popular choices in prison settings, sometimes, but I and others have chosen to let our trials and our troubles become our dumbbells and our treadmills for our soul, so to speak. I know I’ve been tested and proven trustworthy, and others have too.
I guess today I’d like to share that I know that nobody escapes being wounded, whether it’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. But the question, the question can’t be how can we hide our wounds so we don’t get embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty. I think the question we need to ask is how can we put our wounds in service to other people. My wounds have gone from a source of shame to a source of healing. For over four decades, I’ve been climbing a ladder to wisdom and integrity, and to bring ease from pain and consequences. I think about the title of Department of Corrections in our state of Kentucky and other states and, it shouldn’t just be a business. If there’s no purpose in rehabilitation, restoration, education, repentance, maybe we should just rename it Department of Punishment. It is time for governors to recognize a purpose in faith and humanity and their own rhetoric. It is time for commutations and second look laws and movements that educate our communities and restore our families. I’m Karen, and I’m pleading for it to be time.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
