Hi. This is Larry Stromberg at SCI Phoenix, in Pennsylvania. I’m going to perform a short play I wrote called The Happy Addict. So here we go, The Happy Addict.
I’m a happy guy. Yeah. Yeah, I shoot heroin in my veins. Smoke crack, smoke weed, man, I’m a happy frickin’ guy. Yeah. Blackberry brandy, Southern Comfort and Jack Daniels does me just a fine, fine. My liver shot to pieces. It’s shot, and I’m still a happy guy.
I’m a sex freak. Yeah, I’ma, I watch pornography all day long, man. I’m really a freak on that, a sex freak, and I’m still a happy guy, a real happy guy. I’m a gambling king, always bet the house. Yeah. My wife left me, took the kids. Lost my house, my car, my job, even my dogs and cats. I still have my guns. I live on the streets. I’m a happy frickin’ guy. Yeah.
On the streets, I steal to survive. I shot two people, killed ’em. I got double life sentence, and I’m still a happy frickin’ guy, [laughs]. Yeah. But, you know, the judge, jury, my DA, they all sold me, sold me up the river. Now I’m doing a double life sentence in prison. I steal to survive. I’m always looking behind my back. I’m afraid someone’s gonna take me out. But I tell you, I’m a real happy guy. Yeah, yeah.
I eat tons of sugar. I eat sugar all day long. I’m diabetic. I’m about to lose my foot [laughs]. I’m still a happy guy. I eat tons of salt, have high blood pressure, about to have a stroke. I’m a happy guy. Yeah, I got full blown AIDS, cancer, Hep C.
I’m not a happy guy. I’m not. My family, they don’t want nothing to do with me, nothing. I have nobody, and I am nobody. Yeah, I’m forgotten. I’m not a happy guy. I’m long gone. In fact, I’m already dead. I’m already dead. I’m not a happy guy.
This is Larry Stromberg. That was my short play called The Happy Addict. Thank you.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
