I am Izell Robinson, Minnesota inmate number 210006.
As we all know, this month is mental health awareness month. All of you who listen to my commentaries know that lately I’ve had a struggle with the system. That definitely has been depressing and a bit trying on my own mental stability. But in order to take care of myself and support myself through this process, I have been journaling as a form of therapy.
I wanted to thank everyone who has made the choice to reach out and send letters on my behalf to the people in the state of Minnesota that I request the letters be sent to. I very much appreciate that if you sent the letter.
But today I wanted to read one of my journal writings that I wrote recently regarding my feelings with my whole situation currently that I’m facing within the system. This is untitled.
Sometimes I feel like I’m chasing time only to find it’s too late to recapture or redefine. Confined me has me so far behind, a decade already lost, equalling 10 years of substantial loss. I guess my innocence couldn’t afford the price of freedom. They ask each other, “Do you believe him to them?” To them, my black truth needs proof, so I prove, and they look aloof.
That’s why black lives should matter too. But injustice is all they put me through. Even when I been jumped through the hoop and complete a program to bear good fruits, they refuse to recognize my rehabilitation, labeled me “high risk” to keep me revolving in this situation. I’m different, but tired of trying to prove it, so please don’t blame me if one day I up and lose it, because they keep judging people like me with no inclusivity, therefore I’ll probably never experience liberty, only death, because the system want me to die behind these bars, slowly fade my hope, for there are no more dreams of my name written among Hollywood stars.
Just want a chance to explore space and light like a rover. Shouldn’t have to feel like my life is over. But whether jail or death, life in the box is no gift. That’s why I’m fighting to create distance with the justice jab that’s. stiff Lord knows it’s a war, and I’m hanging on. For my daughters and sons, I’m just trying to make it home. Want a chance to be the father and parent I should. Know that they love my motivation to do good. It’ll hurt me to make them sad. That’s why I’m committed to the good guy, eliminating the bad.
When is the system gonna hear me and my change? I’m pissed they playing with my future like its a game. I only wish to be free, free to live life fair, free to breathe fresh air, free to love and care, free talents from within to share, free to succeed, and free to be a better me when I know the best things in life are free.
I pray that you took something of value from my words that you can utilize to join others and I in the fight for healthy societal inclusion and change along with police and criminal justice reform. I believe the courage of many to take a stand will make a difference, so you and I must be brave in our pursuit to be heard and demand change we are long overdue.
Once again, I can be emailed through the JPay app or website. Just insert Minnesota for state and number 210006 for ID, or you can email me or you can mail me directly at Izell Robinson, #210006, 7600-525th Street, Rush City, Minnesota 55069. Remember, all positively supportive contact is welcomed and appreciated.
Thank you for listening and thanks to Prison Radio for this much-needed platform of linking prisoners with their families and communities in a healthy way to foster needed dialogue and support. God bless.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
