For 20 years since the age of 16, I have subjected myself to a playful and inhumane environment for chaos, pain and distress and anger has been filtered within me. I have voluntarily stranded myself and a hollow void landscape for self-perplexity and unpredictable people around you are your daily enemy. To be upfront and honest with you, I have done negative things in my past life. Since the age 16, where I was first born into the stone cold dark cellars of the criminal justice system. Since my day as a youth, I was supposed to be enjoying my high school years focusing on my education and participating in athletic sports. But instead, I chose to do other things, such as initiate violence, causing pain along with a high volume of misery to others, where my mind and motive had only one focus: victimizing others. And I was completely guilty of all the trials of grief and hurt I have served to others. And if I could rewind the face of time, I would have had changed a lot of negative things and turned them into something positive and productive. I most definitely would have conducted myself like a normally functioning human being. But the nature of life does not allow anyone to alter or rewind time to change all the negative things they did, but to move forward step by step where there is progress with the potential to prosper. And above all, I just want to do the right thing in life: to not just become a profit and benefit for myself, but to create positivity and give courage and inspiration for young kids that have been exposed to the criminal justice system, and help them walk into the right direction [Interruption]. A lot of kids at very young ages are exposed to bad environments, [from] poverty, drug infested neighborhoods, and bars that contribute mostly from gang affiliation through our toxic and unsafe community. These young kids minds are still developing at these young ages and they see bad things such as drive by shootings, drug dealers selling dope at the edge of street corners. And they see and live by experience multiple tragic events contributed by violence. That leaves a dark imprint within their mind. This leads to emotional scarring, because it is a part of the environment they live in. For it is all they know, but you don’t have to become a prisoner nor victim to your environment. Most importantly, all youth are supposed to be focusing on going to school and getting good grades, participating in leisure activities that are therapeutic, and playing athletic sports. To have some kind of positive productive platform they can use as a map roadmap to succeed, they shouldn’t have to worry about their security and wellness for which they revolted(?) neighborhood they reside in or surviving to get to the next day. And being deprived and depriving themselves the opportunity to play outside – going to school to actually be a kid. Some days, I wake up in this miserable prison and in some ways, I still wish I was a kid. But truthfully, I’m glad I’m not. Because I probably wouldn’t be here sharing my personal story with you regarding the screwed up life I lived. But I’m glad I was able to develop the life skills and the tools for self-change and redemption, but to apply it as well by making a great and positive impact in your kids lives – to become something positive to teach them to refrain from criminal behavior. My word of advice to you: don’t ever come to prison. Because most of the time prisoners become victims or prisoners to their environment. And that is statistically proven by recidivism, serving life sentences, or even death.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
