Hello, my name is David Annarelli, contributing writer for PrisonJournalismProject.org. Today is July 7th. It is a Monday, and this piece is entitled, “In Robert Smith’s Own Words.” In several of my previous commentaries for Prison Radio, I have reported the facts about the Virginia’s wrongful convictions of Jermaine Doss, Larry Capers, and myself at the hands of proven crooked police; documented dirty prosecutors. Recently, I shared a commentary about my friend David and the corrupt Virginia parole board who has denied him time and again for over 40 years. Today, I would similarly draw your attention to a Mr. Robert Smitty Smith, who is 69 years old, and who has also been denied parole 27 times. Today, instead of telling you about him myself, I would like to read Mr. Smith’s own words as published in the journal, No Longer Silenced, Volume One. This is “45.”
“45. What does the number 45 mean? Is it a person’s age, or is it the year somebody was born? 45 is the number of years that I had to go in the room when somebody told me to, shower when I was allowed to, eat what somebody else made me eat, and go outside when somebody told me to. 45 is just a number, but to me, it’s much more. So here it is: 45 is the number of years that I’ve been locked up. Not 45 times I’ve been locked up, but 45 years that I’ve been incarcerated without any time off, and it’s been a long, hard road. Every day I wake up, I ask myself, what will I see or hear today? Is anyone going to get hurt, robbed, taken advantage of against their own will or not make it to see the next day?
I’m not blaming anyone but myself for being put in this hole. I went down that rabbit hole in 1979 and haven’t come back out since. It’s not that I don’t want to. The parole board refuses to let go. I beg and plea every year, but every year they say the same thing: release at this time would diminish the seriousness of the crime, risk to the community, and my favorite, the board feels I haven’t done enough time. 45 years, and still they say it’s not enough time. Wow. The board, along with society, needs to know that 45 years is enough time for any human being to do. During my 45 years of being incarcerated, other inmates ask me often, how have I done it? In response, I tell them, doing the amount of time I’ve done isn’t easy. Since 1979, I’ve lost loved ones, and even guys I knew in here. It takes a toll on you, but once you realize that you have to do the time, then that is when you have to man up and find a way to do the time. My advice to anyone that has to do time is to settle any differences you may have with family members, be a man and take it on the chin, because God and family be the one standing with you throughout the storm. God will keep you afloat, as well as family. I had to learn the hard way. Dying is a part of life, but doing 45 years or more is not a part of life. That is just plain heartbreak. You can get over losing someone in your own way or a breakup, but doing time is something different, regardless if it’s one year or life. Doing time isn’t easy.
When you read a prisoner’s story and some of my other writings, such as “The Day I Met Me,” “Through Clear Eyes,” and other pieces in this perfectly titled book, No Longer Silenced, you will read about other struggles; struggles that I faced behind these walls, as well as other strong men that contributed their poems, stories and strong words in this book. In closing, I want to leave you with some powerful words that stuck with me: You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is restraint; if words control you, that means that everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.” – Mr. Robert Smith Smitty.
My name is David Annarelli, contributing writer to the Prison Journalism Project, davidanderelli.wordpress.com. Change has to come. Thank you very much.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
