Growth and change are painful, but it’s painful being told you’re going to die here after working so hard for that second chance. Last year, Governor Beshear signed a proclamation for April to be the Month of Second Chances in the state of Kentucky. I read that document today, and it says that every person is endowed with dignity and value. Redemption and second chances are American values, and that the designation of April as Second Chance month brings opportunities for individuals, employers, congregations, and communities to extend second chances.
While I was thinking about and reading that – I do pray for the governor to commute my sentence and help me out for a second chance – but I also was convinced that I maybe have overlooked some second chances in my life. There’s many people on that list across our state, and even the nation, that support me: congregations, churches, thousands from the communities, school teachers, professors, lawyers, advocates, friends, and family. They’ve stuck with me for over 40 years. And now there’s groups like Prison Radio with Joe and Noelle, and ACLU with Kathleen and Alexia from FAMM [Families Against Mandatory Minimums], Daryl from Prisoners Hope, Jim from Reimagined Justice, Tawna from KFTC [Kenuckians for the Commowealth], other places like ABLE with Marcus. They’ve given me that second chance, and they believe that I have the dignity and value this Governor spoke about.
I’ve never asked anyone to erase my mistakes, and I don’t speak about all the things that I survived, but I just want everybody to know that I show up for other people, even when I feel empty sometimes, and I smile when I want to cry, and I carry pain in silence, just like everybody sometimes. I’m not healed, but I walk in faith, believing for that second chance. And I know there’s a reason for it, just like today, just like when I help other people. Sometimes people hear bad things, and they spread them like wildfire years ago. And when they’ve heard good things they’ve remained silent. And sometimes when they’ve heard nothing they made things up for TV shows in different places. But I can’t control what other people say, but I’ve let my behavior for the past 40 plus years speak for themselves.
Growth and change are painful, but it’s painful being told you’re going to die here after working so hard for that second chance. I know that heaven and hell are not just places. They’re results of the past we choose, and I choose wisely. I choose to say thank you to the people who have the courage to give me a second chance. I choose to share as a way of fighting back against the choice I made as a 21 year old. Back then I chose drugs, being manipulated, and lies that put tragedy into other people’s lives and my own. For over four decades now, I’ve chosen to honor the fight for a second chance, and I’m just asking people to see those of us incarcerated who’ve done the same.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
