Hey, Steven Lynn Nicholson again here in Jackson, Michigan. As always, support prisonradio.org, Prisoner Creative Arts Program out of University of Michigan. I may promote this again, but I’m promoting it again now, March 22, 12:30 to 4:30 in the afternoon, as they may be live streaming an event where they do poetry readings from incarcerated prisoners in Michigan, so. They published me, so I will have some of my poems read, so check it out. Two poems for you today. This one is called, “What If?”
What if I was the catalyst on this planet like God planned it?
Like a battleship I was fashioned for battling.
What if?
If Billy was a fifth I could have been drunk.
Maybe I should have been drunk, and I would have slept like a lump.
Instead, I tried to stay up and be the father my dad wasn’t.
What if I didn’t fail as a father to my son and daughter,
My little Ella Grace could light up anyone’s face that was mean.
We called her Ella bean.
My son Cash his laugh really was money.
My jolly little buddy a spitting image of me.
What if one botched decision by me
Didn’t accidentally cause a catastrophe?
What if I could rewind?
Would I find my life’s path intertwined with Jesus as God designed?
What if I would still follow my dumb mind,
Then blind, selling dope for my life?
Would my kids have ended up losing more than dying?
What if I don’t know?
Because I don’t know.
I don’t know exactly how they died.
I don’t know exactly what would come from a rewind.
What if I didn’t believe that Jesus saves
And that Johnny Cash and Ella Grace
Are face to face in God’s place,
Encouraging me to embrace the hate I may receive
For trying to save you from the same tragic fate?
Well, then this What if? would never exist
And I would be a blemish,
A detriment and danger to society.
What if I told you a truth that you might find ugly?
Every single day I miss Cash and Ella’s face.
But we’re all better off
Now that I had to learn the hard way.
Though I wish I could have been saved from disgrace
Instead of saved by grace.
I no longer wonder what if,
Because what if’s don’t exist to change decisions missed,
Unless — What if you could be saved from all your past mistakes
And reserve a place of eternal grace?
You can’t, so don’t play.
Burning out an eternal flame would be more tragic than any of my mistakes.
What if?
If what?
This truth consists of no ifs and it’s flawless.
Holler at me, because what if I can help set you free,
If you would just choose to believe.
That is, “What If.” I pulled a old, a little bit of older poem out of the repertoire. I call this, “Remedial Savant.” There’s a couple lines in here that are, you know, a little more adult theme, but it’s just reality in life. So, no, no offense meant. Okay, “Remedial Savant”.
I done forgot thoughts greater than your vocabs repertoire,
Little twats what I thought of y’all when I used to rep de trois over the law.
Then my breaking the law, breaking the law,
Blew back in my craw,
And I got caught for all the past destruction I caused.
Part of what I’m talking about was playing fentanyl in that raw
Then I lost my all, or so I thought.
Now, revelation from y’all showed me rationale.
So, my wisdom is the will attempt in your vision
Because you lack application.
I sit on the toilet dropping 100 grand via mental transplants.
Stats can account for intangibles that most can’t execute,
Let alone counteract.
So, I’m back on the attack for content as whack.
Speed, deeming your team like a demon,
And having them weakened like bras when they creaming,
And seeing it after seeing the weekend.
Time to stop speeding
As I see the track that I’m leaving.
The risk for the need for speeding.
So, I won’t backtrack,
But I’ll screw and chop the attack on this track
So y’all can see my vocab and luminosity
With ascended philosophy.
I want to give you something deeply
Like the deed to my future wifey,
Hidden spots like the G, like a G.
Mental stimulus, evidentiary
By how you study me and my themes.
Forces like G speed up for me and your sector,
Causing the vector quantity to accelerate me.
At the age of 33 I squandered me
When I meant to succeed like Jesus C, see?
And hopefully you can see I speak of the Christ
And not how you see Jesus, see?
Like a Jesus peace.
I was called to leap in the Sea of Galilee
And hydroplane to another plane
Because a miraculous brain
Is what he has given me,
This is “Remedial savant.”
These commentaries are recorded by in Prison Radio
