Peace and blessings. My name is Ekong Eshiet Junior. State number 1842654. Born June 14, 1996. Son of Ekong Eshiet Senior and Marsha Percy. Also I am the brother of Akon Eshiet, Ben Eshiet and Amir Eshiet.
I am one out of the many incarcerated brothers that set themselves on fire. I self-immolated for more reasons than one. One of the main reasons was because I was and I am desperately seeking proper mental health treatment for my illnesses, my anxiety, my PTSD, my trauma from all the physical and mental pain I’ve been doing here at Red Onion. And, for my dark past that haunts me to this day.
Those are just some, not all of what I’m dealing with and going through. To whomever this may concern, or to whomever at least has a little care in your heart for me, all that Ekong Ben Eshiet Junior wants and needs—treatment for my mental health illness. I am massively inside my head. I am semi-possessed by very dark force, crazy but true. There are times when I lose myself control. My body is always shaking. A lot of the staff here at Red Onion have noticed me shaking, and some have asked, “What’s wrong with you?” And I tell them, it isn’t me, it is the entity that is attached to me. I have done a lot of wicked things in my past that got this dark force attached to me, and my past haunts me every day that God wakes me up in this room.
If Virginia DOC doesn’t want me to go to Greenville, I am willing to go to Marion, I am even willing to go to Central State. I currently have four years and two months left on my sentence. I am really seeking help to the point where, if I am not provided that help, then I am willing to die. Once again, if I am not provided that help, then I am willing to die. I am willing to die before I come home, still mentally ill, because I don’t trust myself to come home and live a civilized life with all these murky thoughts that I be having and with all these demons that whisper to me and entice me to hurt others and myself. I don’t want to harm anybody no more.
Please help me. Sending me out of state is not the solution. It is wrong to try to make yours, that’s my problem, another state’s problem. Please answer me this: if I am sent out of state, who is going to ensure that my mental health illnesses are properly being tended to and treated before I am released back to society? I have hurt a lot of people in this world, even my own family, and I am ever regretful for what I’ve done. And though I can’t take back what I’ve done—nor can I forgive myself, even if the law does—I still do have intentions of leaving this universe the opposite of what I’ve been most of my life: a villain, a menace, a maniac, and the follower of the Shaytan. I want better. I want change.
Please for the sake of who created us, open y’all ears, y’all eyes, and y’all hearts to my sincere calls for help. I am sick, I am a menace, I am evil. The devil has got a hold of me; he will not let me go. Every day I’m seeing triple sixes. Every day, Satan is telling me sick things to do. He will not leave me alone.
Someone, please save me from hell. Help me. This is my final cry for help. I have no more tears to shed, I have no more energy to use asking for help. Help or watch me burn. Now I must let God take control of this situation. Whatever happens was supposed to happen, and what doesn’t occur is never meant to occur. It’s called predestination.
Alhamdulillah for the good and the bad. God bless all.
These commentaries are recorded by Prison Radio.
